May 2005 blogposts

The Pile on the Kitchen Table

It's noon, and I am still in my housecoat, and this is the entry from my (handwritten) journal:

"I slept badly last night--I remember waking up at least once an hour. I called in sick this morning, went back to bed.

Last night I was on the phone with John, beating myself up over X not calling back, telling myself it was my fault that he dumped me after two dates.

I know that the

entitlement -> anger -> depression

dynamic has kicked in again.

I am not entitled to love. I am not entitled to a romantic relationship.

I am so tired of fighting with myself, and today I am slipping back into depression.

Today I am going to have a shower, get dressed, and start cleaning off the pile on the kitchen table." 

Crime Scene

I think I'll just wrap myself in yellow police tape and declare myself a relationship crime scene...

Basketcase

It's official.
I am a basketcase.

X called.
We're going out Saturday night.

Perhaps it was too early to declare relationship dumpage and crime scene status.

Regardless, I am truly a relationship basket-case. Heart is NOT going out of the starting blocks this time. Head rules. Yeah, RIGHT. 

Last.fm. It seriously rocks, people.

Seriously, if you haven't tried it out yet, you don't know what you're missing. Build your own radio station, that plays only the music you like. Learn about other great songs from people who share your musical taste and interests. Chat with the developers live on #audioscrobbler :-) and get your bugs fixed...

Quiplash's Radio Station on Last.fm

WARNING: "My musical tastes are eclectic, even downright bizarre. I listen to everything: Barenaked Ladies to Buena Vista Social Club, Edith Piaf to Erykah Badu, Fats Domino to Franz Ferdinand, Monty Python to Marlene Dietrich to Mary Poppins to Michael McDonald, Amy Grant to Amy Winehouse, Elvis to Enya... I especially like: African music, talented vocalists, multi-part harmony (I'm a total acappella whore), Broadway showtunes, James Bond movie themes, classic rock'n'roll, light jazz, and anything Eighties" 

Saskatoon Weekend

Of course, I *completely* forgot to mention (at least, here on this blog) my adventures last weekend: I went along on a bustrip with my fellow singers from The Rainbow Harmony Project, to that hotbed of intrigue and romance (well, OK, lust) Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, to perform at a concert with Saskatoon's own LGBT chorus, The River Bridge City Chorus. Much fun was had by all, and as one of the non-singers, I got to document the whole event. It'll probably take me the rest of this week to sort through all the photos and post the best ones. so check back every so often to see them added to the flickr set. 

Just Load Up the Hopper with PDMs...

Excerpt from a letter (OK, an email) to a friend:

Had a near-relationship happen but once again the Ryan Schultz Platonic Friend-Making Machine was working splendidly :-( just load up the hopper with PDM (potentially datable men) and it spits out PFOR (platonic friends of Ryan) at the other end. It's great that I have no problems calling someone up for coffee or to go to a movie and I should be grateful, but... well you know.

Cue pity-party violin...oh, and an online amigo from the Plain Layne days contacted me today. Tells me that nobody is reading Odin Soli's blog any more.

Awww. I'm just crushed.   Really.