Ted Haggard, the Rentboy, and some Meth = De-NIII-al
It's not often you burst out laughing before you even finish the first paragraph of a Reuters news report:
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (Reuters) - Embattled evangelist Ted Haggard admitted on Friday to buying the drug methamphetamine and seeking a massage from a gay male prostitute but denied he had sex with the man or used the stimulant.
I mean, just how stupid can this minister be? He's going to rentboy for a massage? Must not be that picky about what kind of massage he gets--or maybe he's very, very picky :-) ooh that was evil.
I mean, honestly, according to Global national news just on (yes, it made Canadian news too!), this man is apparently a key link between Bush and his conservative, homophobic Christian base.
How appallingly bad does your judgment have to be, just days before a key mid-term election already embroiled in a gay scandal or two, to go buy crystal meth from a gay prostitute? I can only assume that Rev. Haggard is a secret spy from the Meth Mothers of America (*rolls on the floor in laughter*) and the... the... the Rentboy Republican Values Coalition. Yeah, that's the ticket.
I'm just surfing through the blogs via Technorati, seeing that the blogosphere has to say. Here's a sample of good ones:
- Okay, we get it, he didn't inhale. And, of course, a man who made a career out of preaching discrimination against gays is going to make sure that the massage he receives is from a male prostitute. It all makes perfect sense. (scootmandubious)
- The fact that he was seeing a gay prostitute isn't the issue. That's just a symptom of the problem. No, the issue is this toxic faith that reeks havoc in so many lives. It's toxic faith that pushed him into cumpulsory heterosexuality, it's toxic faith that pushed him to preach that gay people are going to hell (while getting fucked on the side). It's a faith that places utmost importance on appearance rather than action. It's a faith that gives a sense of pride, self-importance, and entitlement.
It's true that Christ forgives us. But forgiveness doesn't mean that we won't face earthly consequences. These things needed to be brought to light. Maybe this will encourage Evangelicals to look more closely at their positions on homosexuality. (lizzypaul) - I find it very funny that the people who are for banning gay marriage and gay rights - let me rephrase that... People behind denying anyone their rights as human beings just because of a difference in appearance, lifestyle, culture or religion are the same people who have these hidden lives that they are ashamed of.Shame on you for projecting your self loathing onto the rest of us. We are all residents of society and as such we should all be treated the same way and have the option of getting married. (Andy)
- So here is the thing for me Ted, can I call you Ted? I am happy for you if you are "steady" with your wife. I hope that you two have a strong, happy marriage. I hope that the two of you go on to have a really wonderful life together into ripe old age and that the current drama you are embroiled in doesn't adversely effect your relationship. I don't think that dabbling with a prostitute, or even using meth* NECESSARILY makes you a bad person, a bad husband or a bad father.I am not going to judge you for the things you have done, I have not walked in your shoes, I don't know why you may have done any of this - as long as you own them, take responsibility and make amends where necessary. I have no problem with you getting a little back door action from Mr Jones if that was the case.Where I do have a problem is you getting up and denouncing me and mine. Saying that my life, the loves that I have found, are not of equal value to yours is not your place or your right. Particularly if its a cover for your own guilt as it appears to be.Time and again it seems the most rabid fag haters turn out to actually be hiding some inclinations of their own; Mr Foley, the onetime chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children and accused peadophile, is a sad case in point; and as you appear to be Ted. (robert)
And of course, the digging begins. Channel 9 News in Denver (NBC I believe) has a report on voicemail messages Haggard left for his "massage buddy". Here's an example:
Jones provided two voice messages to 9NEWS he claims are Haggard calling him.The voice mails are from a man who calls himself "Art."It should be noted Haggard's middle name is Arthur.The first voice message, left on August 4 at 2:18 p.m., says:"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime. I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address. I could send you some money for inventory but that's probably not working, so if you have it then go ahead and get what you can and I may buzz up there later today, but I doubt your schedule would allow that unless you have some in the house. Okay, I'll check in with you later. Thanks a lot, bye."The second voice message, left on August 4 at 5:10 p.m., says:"Hi Mike, this is Art, I am here in Denver and sorry that I missed you. But as I said, if you want to go ahead and get the stuff, then that would be great. And I'll get it sometime next week or the week after or whenever. I will call though you early next week to see what's most convenient for you. Okay? Thanks a lot, bye."Jones claims Art is referring to methamphetamine in the messages.9NEWS had a nationally known voice recognition expert, Richard Sanders, listen to the voice mails to determine if it is Haggard.Sanders has previously worked on such high profile cases as the Oklahoma City bombing trial, the Columbine High School shootings, the JonBenet Ramsey murder investigation and the Kobe Bryant case."This certainly sounds like the same person," said Sanders.
Ted, you are SO busted.
Ted Haggard: the Blogosphere Responds
I'm again on Technorati this morning (where the graph on the right came from), my pancakes and maple syrup and coffee right here in front of the keyboard, reading some of the commentary written in various people's blogs. And, amidst the blather, there's actually some thoughtful comments. Some more good entries:- Now that Haggard has been outed by a gay prostitute for having sex with him and buying meth, and has resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals,
I wonder what it will take for the good people in the pews to call leaders like Haggard, Jerry Fallwell, and James Dobson to account for their mean-spirited hypocrisy. And maybe even to approach the world with more forgiveness and less vindictiveness...It's might be too much to hope, but maybe this is an opportunity for the rest of us to reach out to those who call themselves born again Christians and challenge them to listen a bit more closely to the Jewish preacher whose vision men like Haggard, Fallwell and Dobson reoutinely profane. Maybe they could even find some other lessons in those Biblical texts to set their course by, lessons that genuinely prophetic voices like Desmond Tutu, Jim Wallis and Martin Luther King have made the core of a vision that actually promotes human dignity, instead of trampling it. (PaulLoeb) - Here’s my thought about the meth. Haggard says, “I was tempted but I never used it…”
He was tempted to buy and use meth?? I don’t know about you, but I don’t go around fighting my meth temptations. Let me be honest, I’ve done my fair share of experimenting. But the typical person doesn’t just jump into speed without some past drug use. I’m sure it happens, but if a person is tempted to use meth, odds are they smoke a little bit of pot, or do a little coke, before asking to get hooked up with a “$100 or $200 supply.” (The Atheist Mama) - As such, this could be another case of Jimmy Swaggart syndrome, for which the cure is to appear in front of the multitudes and cry for hours on end, begging Jehovah and church members for forgiveness—all on camera, of course. In other words, instead passing yourself off as a model of virtue, go ahead and embrace the role of repentant sinner. It worked for Swaggart. His television audience still sends him millions.
But not every man can cry like Jimmy Swaggart; it’s a special skill. So before Haggart proceeds with the standard cure, he’ll definitely need training. He can start right here. Through the magic of the Internet, we can all watch a small portion of the Rev. Swaggart’s initial 1988 on-screen tearful confession after he got caught soliciting prostitutes and collecting pornography—minor league stuff compared to the Rev. Haggard, who has admitted to taking illegal drugs and getting a gay massage. And it’s still early. God only knows what else will come to light. (Ohio River Life)
- My problem this morning is with Haggard's critics who say he should have "practiced what he preached."
See, I think that's backwards. Telling him to practice what he preaches says that being a homosexual is wrong and that he should have kept those urges buried and prayed for hetero urges.
Here's the thing: I think he should have preached what he practiced. Imagine an evangelical preacher actually reaching out to the gay community and inviting them to worship.
Would a fundamentalist church that was open to all, regardless of "life-style choices" survive? I'm not gay, and I'm not a Christian, but I bet there would be a market for such a church.
"Practice what you preach" is pure hypocrisy. Go ahead and preach what you practice. (The13thStory) - Somehow, all of this is just going to make gay people, and homosexuality, look bad, when the real wickedness here is denial, lies, warmongering and anti-gay theology that twists people into doing things that destroy their own lives and the lives of others.(Living In The Bonus Round)
- Their total denial of the FACT of homosexual persons is what drives men like Ted Haggard into a marriage, and then, subsequently, into the arms of a male hustler. The drugs, IMO, were not only about enhancing the sex act itself, but they also enabled him, in those hours alone with the muscle guy, to forget the wife and kids and career as a gay-hatin' leading light of the evangelical movement. (Living In The Bonus Round)
- Worshipping Supply Side Jesus has allowed the evangelical right to embrace the worst aspects of capitalism and life in middle-class comfort, but I don't think it'll be Supply Side Jesus sitting in that judgement chair.
To put it another way, I'll happily put up with evangelical anti-gay bigotry as soon as they start taking the majority of the Bible they claim guides thier lives seriously. Feed the poor. Care for the sick. Welcome the immigrant. Judge not lest you be judged. Turn the other cheek, even in international politics. Act like Jesus, maybe even just a little, maybe just 1%, and maybe then what you say about what God does and does approve of will carry some weight with me. (eustacescrubb, from the inevitable MetaFilter thread the story has provoked) - Think about this for a second - the problem here is not that these guys are being gay and hypocritical (okay, that is a problem, but not the BIG problem), the problem is that they are in the public eye, they know people are watching and they do it anyway.
How colossally arrogant is it to think that you can be a congressman and hit on underage pages and not think you are going to get busted? How arrogant is it to be the head of the organization that has made ant-gay preaching a foundational principle and then go hire a male prostitute on a monthly basiss and not expect to get caught?
It's addict mentality. They know they shouldn't do it, but they can't stop themselves, like the drunk who can't say no to the next drink. Weak, pathetic losers, just like their congregations - soft, comfy, middle-class weakness. Unable to sacrifice, unable to deny themselves even when it's in their best interest, unable to resist their appetites.
That's why you evangelicals need such a literal rules-based religion, because you're too weak willed to do it youselves. But don't project that onto the rest of the country. I can control my appetites, most people can. We can control our drinking, our eating, etc.
We can control our tempers and our feelings, and we don't need fairy stories of gods and demons and prophets and wizards and unicorns and whatever the hell else is in the Bible or Book of Mormon or the Urantia book or Battlefield Earth. We don't need magic when we have self control and compassion.
That where American chruches went wrong - you took love thy neighbor to mean that you should keep blacks and gays and jews and catholics out of your neighborhoods. Love thy neighbor is the only part of the Bible that any christian should take to heart, because that is the point that jesus hammered home time after time.
Love everyone, your enemy, the weak, the diseased, the whores, everybody. Love them because you are no better. That's the NT (New Testament) for you. Not rules about who can touch a penis or under what conditions women are allowed to have sex. If you think the Bible is a guide to daily living, I'm sorry, you are in all scientific sense of the word, a moron. Your IQ is low. You missed the point.
The point of the Iliad is the danger of hubris, it's pride goeth before the fall. It's not about sneaky greeks or cool battles between gods and mortals. Frankenstein is not about a mad scientists, it's about how man can be a monster when faced with fear. Learn how to read, and then read between the lines. Even when the Bible mentions sex literally it's not really about sex.
The new testament is in absolutely no way about sex. Not straight sex, not gay sex, not any kind of sex. If you are so obssesed with sex that you turn a great work of moral philosophy into fuck manual, then you don't need a priest, you need a therapist. You need a university faculty analyzing you around the clock.
In summary, new testament not about sex. (Pastabagel, from the same MetaFilter thread)
Two Journeys (Part I)
Today two things happened:
- For the first time in almost a decade, I set foot inside a Lutheran church for Sunday worship.
- Rev. Ted Haggard released his letter of explanation and apology to his New Life Church.
I left the Lutheran church I was baptised, raised, confirmed in, and married in, when I finally came out to myself and my family and friends. At that time there were two pastors in our church. The elder pastor, with whom I had shared my story and my secret, was very accepting. But he warned me that the junior pastor would not be as accepting.
Shortly afterward, the elder pastor was let go (there were nasty church politics involved, as always). It was then that I requested, and received, a transfer of membership to Augustine United in Osborne Village. I'm sure many members assumed that my departure was related to the firing of my favourite pastor, but there was a stronger reason. Augustine United is one of several United Church of Canada congregations that was an Affirming church (that is, one where it was made explicit that GLBTQ people were full and equal members of the congregation). In fact, Augustine was the first such church in Canada, designated an Affirming congregation in 1995.
Why did I leave? I had gone through a difficult coming-out, after three decades of both conscious and unconscious self-repression, and I was worn out, angry, and depressed. I simply did not have the energy to stay where I was and defend myself against those in the Lutheran pews who did not (and would not) understand. I wanted to be somewhere where it was WRITTEN DOWN that I could be a gay Christian and accepted as that, without having to change one or the other.
I'll continue this in Part II. I'll just close by sharing one of the thoughts I had when I read this portion of Pastor Ted's letter:
Our church's overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.
And that first thought was:
Oh my God. Having James Dobson and his folk work on Ted to "cure" him of his homosexuality. Ted's going to be the square peg punded right back into the round hole, he's going to land up even more mentally and emotionally fucked-up than he is right now.
I can see it now: that fake frozen smile is going to get tighter and tighter, until his jaw fractures. Can't Dobson et al. see that they're the ones who CAUSED Ted to repress his sexuality so severely that he acted out in this very public way?
"You see, Reverend Haggard is a vociferous spokesperson against gay marriage and, until yesterday, his wife probably had no idea she was actually in one."
Oh hell. I just couldn't resist another swim through the Schadenfreude.
Mark Driscoll on the Ted Haggard Scandal: Blame the Wife?!
I'm sorry. I am really sorry.
But it's such a spectacular trainwreck, with so many colourful, pretty secondary explosions, that I just cannot take my eyes off it. The latest launch into Ted-inspired lunacy comes from some wingnut fundamentalist pastor named Mark Driscoll, who expounds on the best ways for men of the cloth to avoid such temptations:
Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.
So... you're saying that Ted's troubles may be his wife's fault? Shakespeare's Sister rather appropriately rips Driscoll a second asshole:
Yeah, if only Mrs. Haggard had navigated that virgin-whore dichotomy a little better, Pastor Ted never would have sought solace in the massage stylings of a male escort. Also, I bet if she’d shaved her pussy, he never would have bought that meth.
Pandagon has some more info on the "hip" Rev. Mark Driscoll, quoting from this Salon article:
He riffs about waiting in a supermarket checkout line behind a woman who said to him, “You sure got a lot of kids! I hope you’ve figured out what causes that.”“Yeah,” he flipped back. “A blessed wife. I bet you don’t have any kids.” The congregation hoots and hollers. “That shut her up,” he mutters.
What a charming guy, eh?
Musical Interlude for a Saturday Afternoon
Courtesy of the new "French Youtube", dailymotion:
Monday Musical Interlude
Billie Holiday sings "Fine and Mellow"...
Musical Interlude: Achtung X-mas!
Tyskarna från Lund is a satirical Swedish synthpop band who performs in German. The nearest sound I can compare them to would be the Buggles (remember them, Video Killed The Radio Star?)
Anyway, this funny little number is my selection for today's, ahem, Musical Interlude. Enjoy :-)
Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?
Hallelujah, Dan Savage!
Dan Savage is a columnist who happens to be gay, and who writes a love and sex advice column called "Savage Love". And he just wrote a column that sums up how I feel about the whole "ex-gay" movement exactly. So, I'll give a link to it, but it's so good I'm just gonna quote the whole thing here.
I consider Rev. Ted Haggard a beaten-to-death topic, and I am now retiring it from Ryan's Rant list :-)
I live in Colorado Springs, home to the right-wing conservative evangelical movement. As the nation recently learned, the founder of New Life Church, Ted Haggard, was fired after a male prostitute revealed that Haggard bought sex and drugs from him. It's hard not to feel a bit sorry for him, even though I have always hated everything Haggard stood for. How do you view all of this? Does Haggard deserve our sympathy? Or do we point our fingers and laugh?Confused Coloradoan[Dan Savage's response]We should make a joyful noise, CC, whenever a powerful hypocrite is exposed. God should bless Mike Jones, the male prostitute who exposed Ted Haggard, and you should balance whatever sympathy you feel for Haggard against the misery he inflicted on the countless numbers of gay young people his church has "counseled." If you want to feel bad for someone, feel bad for Haggard's kids, not Haggard himself.Now, I realize Haggard is ancient fucking history at this point—there was an election last week, huh?—but there's something I just gotta get off my chest: For more than a decade, the religious right has insisted that homosexuality can be cured. Just give your heart to Jesus, and—poof!—you're straight! If there is any justice in the world—and there seems to be, judging from last week's election returns—Haggard's downfall should be the death of the "ex-gay" movement. No more ex-gay ad campaigns, no more credulous stories about "successful" ex-gays in daily papers or on cable news.Arguing with religious people about the futility of giving your heart to Jesus—at least where "cures" for homosexual orientation are concerned—can be maddening. As with evolution, they aren't moved by science, data, or irksome facts. Not even the existence of ex-ex-gays gives them pause. Anything is possible through Christ, they blandly insist, and if you're sincere enough in your devotion to Christ, if you invite him into your heart, he will cure you.Hello, fundies? I know you're reading this, because every week I get e-mails from concerned Christians who just happened to chance upon my column—cough, cough—and write to share the wonderful news: I don't have to be gay! If I give my heart to Jesus—if I have faith—he will cure me!Well, my fundie friends, did you see that letter of apology Haggard wrote to his congregation? I'd like to wrap it around a brick and shove it up all of your fat asses. But since I can't do that, I'll just quote from it. In his mea gulpa (Haggard gives lousy head, according to Jones), Haggard copped to "sexual immorality" and described himself as "a deceiver and a liar." Those details made it into most of the headlines. These details didn't:"Describing a lifelong battle against temptations that were contrary to his teachings," says the Denver Post, "[Haggard] had sought assistance 'in a variety of ways,' and while he had stretches of 'freedom,' nothing proved effective. 'There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life,' Haggard wrote." [Emphasis added.]If you believe that Jesus Christ can change the sexual orientation of a believer, why on earth did he refuse to cure Haggard? Haggard founded a church that has 14,000 members! Thousands were brought to Christ by Haggard's preaching. Mixed in with Ted's meth-fueled gay-sex romps and hypocritical gay-bashings were, without a doubt, thousands of good works.Did Jesus help Haggard out? No. Haggard struggled with temptation all his life. He tried to battle off his "dark" desires, but nothing proved effective. There was no cure for Haggard, no miracle. No matter how long he struggled, no matter how much faith he had, Haggard's sexual orientation remained unchanged. Nothing helped. Not prayer, not Jesus H. Christ on his cross.Nothing.If giving his heart to Jesus couldn't cure Haggard, what hope is there for the likes of me? If Jesus can't be bothered to work a miracle for the most powerful evangelical minister in the country, what "hope" is there for the average dyke?None.The ex-gay thing is over. It's dead. It was bullshit from the start, and it's bullshit now. And I will personally track down and bitch-slap the next fundie douche who sends me an e-mail explaining how Jesus can cure me. And I will personally track down and shit in the mouth of the next cable-news anchor who entertains—even for an instant—the notion of a miracle cure for homosexuality.Consider yourself warned, Paula Zahn.
November is the Cruelest Month
As usual, somebody else notices the changes before I do.
I complain to my shrink about my indecisiveness, my fatigue, my irritability, my lack of motivation so strong that I spend a few extra hours of each day in bed rather than at my research or my housecleaning. The shrink gently reminds me that these are symptoms of depression, and suddenly my synapses make the connection: Oh shit, here I am again.
Several events over the past two months, which in the grand context of things are rather insignificant, may have contributed to this. I missed a flight to Ottawa to visit some friends, because I screwed up on my 24-hour-clock to 12-hour-clock calculations. I got into a minor fender-bender with my car, which is currently in the shop while I drive a 2007-shitbox-Cobalt for a rental. But Iooking back, the one thing I notice is this: as the seasons shifted and the days became shorter and cloudier, my mood seemed to get darker too.
The good news is that I caught it early -- very early -- this time around. So three weeks ago, I rented a portable full-spectrum light for Seasonal Affective Disorder, and set it up over my computer monitor. I leave it on and bask in the faux-sunlight for about an hour every morning as I have my breakfast coffee and gulp down my antidepressant medication while surfing the morning's news on the Internet. (I know, I know, the news is depressing; but I'd rather be well-informed on world events than blissfully ignorant. And besides, I'm a librarian and we have to keep up-to-date to field reference questions.)
And so far, even though it is still early, it seems to have some benefit for me. At the end of the month's rental, I can choose to purchase and keep the S.A.D. lamp, and I probably will. My shrink thinks that any Seasonal Affective Disorder I might have is only an add-on to my regular old plain vanilla depression, so I obviously can't toss out the anti-depressants. But I may have found another key to fighting back the clouds.
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
Yip yip yip yip yip!
Someone finally posted some video of this. I used to love watching this as a kid!
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